DEADPOOL: BUSTIN' BALLS
by One Hell of a Night
Summary: Deadpool's got to leap tall buildings to collect the seven magic burritos to help him transform into super sonic and save the world from doctor wily's greatest creation the death egg robot.
1. Chapter 1

DEADPOOL: BUSTIN' BALLS

By: One Hell of a Night

"Hey brain! Maybe we should sing that song about the time we stole the magical fire panties from Pheonix's drawer!" Deadpool said to himself

"No my son, we must not travel down that road again." Deadpool's brain says back

"Aww you're no fun! Anyway….who was I supposed to kill again?" Deadpool asks himself

"OH! Can we kill Miley Cyrus?" Deadpool's brain asks

"No, but don't fear my children! She will meet her end soon!" Deadpool says as he laughs evilly

Then suddenly a mighty voice calls out to Deadpool, "What the Hell are you doing here Wade? Unless you wish to pay for all the sins you've committed, I think you should go."

"Oh hey, there's a creep in the room. I wonder if he likes marshmallows and roasting weenies." Deadpool's brain says

"Wait, roasting weenies? Don't tell me its fire head man talking to us!" Deadpool worries

"We must flee! Um..I mean… advance in the opposite direction!" Deadpool's brain strategizes

"Oh wait, now I remember why we're here! I was going to ask fire skull man to help me kill someone! " Deadpool says

"Help you? Sorry, I don't do teamwork and all of that shit." Ghost Rider tells Deadpool

"What's with this dramatic _I work alone _stuff?" Deadpool asks ghost rider

"Maybe blackheart broke up with him or something! After all the name implies he'll leave ya'." Deadpool's brain says

"No silly! I'm pretty sure he's straight!" Deadpool tells his brain

"Straight? You mean blackheart's a guy!" Deadpool's brain yells

"Didn't you read his Wikipedia article?" Deadpool asks his brain

"No, you read it while I was in the shower. When I came out you where watching the episode of Dick Figures when red and blue where delivering pizza to those lesbians." Deadpool's brain replies

"Oh yeah! We liked that episode didn't we?" Deadpool asks his brain

"Yeah….mmmmm…boobs on stick figure bodies! " Deadpool's brain replie

Next Time: We Actually Find Out Who Deadpool wants Ghost Rider to help him kill.


	2. Chapter 2

Deadpool Bustin' Balls: Chapter 2: A bird in one hand equals a chimichonga in the other!

"Why won't you help me GR? I'll give you more coal for your heeeaaadddd!" Deadpool tries to bargan

"You know I don't like that damn nickname Wilson!" Ghost Rider yells

"Oh I get it! DAMN! He's ghost rider! HEHE! He damns people!" Deadpool's brain says

"Well that's why we want him to help us kill Spawn! Wait, he damns people too!" Deadpool says

"No he kills them and then uses his cape to masturb..." Deadpools brain gets interupted

"Woah, I'll see you later buddy! We don't talk about other men's habits around flame skull man!" Deadpool says to his brain

"Wait, are you sure he's not the zombie human torch?" Deadpool's brain asks

"Now that I think about it..."

"You want me to help you kill Al Simmons?" Ghost Rider asks

"Who's Al Simmons?" Deadpool asks

"He is Spawn you idiot! Why would you want him dead anyway? I personally like the guy." Ghost Rider says

"WE KNEW HE WAS GAY!" DP's Brain says

"No,no we didn't. Do we even know what gay means?" Deapool asks his brain

"Nope! But we know what the Canadian national anthem is!" Deadpool's brain replies

"IM NOT GAY WILSON! NOW EXPLAIN YOURSELF!" Ghost Rider says as flames shoot up violentley from his skull

"Well when you put it like that." Deadpool says neviously "I might've...sort of...kind of...stole sveral of his guns...in fact all of them...especialy the ones with the female outlines on them!"

"Wade...you've done a lot of stupid things throughout your life. This should be the one that finally ends you." Ghost Rider says

"Yeah...so can ya' help a poor canadian who's down on his luck?" Deadpool asks with a familiar grin on his face

"No." Ghost Rider says

"DAMMIT!" Deadpool says to himself

"It's okay man, lets go back home and play ET on the atari 2600!" Deadpool's brain says

"We don't have Atari!" Deadpool yells

"But we do have the fire panties!" Deadpool's brain says

"Actualy...maybe we can use those against SPAWN!" Deadpool says

"YEAH! But wait...can't he resist fire?" Deadpool's brain says

"Not vaginal underwear fire!" Deadpool answers

Ghost Rider then loudly rides off on his motorcycle not being able to stand Deadpool's nonsense.

"...Well shit, he should've stayed around for the fire panties!" Deadpool says

Next Time: Enter SPAWN!


	3. Chapter 3

Deadpool Busting Balls: Chapter 3

"VAGINAL UNDERWEAR FIRE!" Deadpool's brain screams*

*(What a great way to begin a chapter ~ One Hell of a Night).

"We already made that joke back in chapter 2; how about some new material?" Deadpool says to his brain

"First you go to the local pharmacy, ask for something called Viagra, and it will help you GO F #& YOURSELF!" Deadpool's brain yells

"Did you even watch that video?" Deadpool asks

"No, I was playing a Will Shatner CD; his music makes me cry every time I hear it!" Deadpool's brain replies.

"Yeah, that _Rocket Man_ song is just so inviting, I wonder if Elton John will ever sing it?" Deadpool says

"I don't think he ever will. Besides it would never catch on." Deadpool's brain says

"Catch….OH NOES! Spawn will be here any minute to kick my ass! Quick, give me my emergency meat cleaver!"

"We don't have one, and I think we just shit ourselves!"

"Don't panic myself! I always have a backup plan!"

"What would that be?"

"We will dig a moat! Then we shall get some alligators from hell to swim in it! Then we build a castle inside the moat, and then when Spawn comes we stick out our tongues and go _neh neh neh neh neh!_"

"….Let's do it!"

So in an effort to protect himself Deadpool built an indestructible fortress. But the bad thing is he started building it from the inside out. This meant that when he was done he was outside the alligator-filled moat, and he forgot to lower the draw bridge.

"SHIT!" Shouted Deadpool's brain

"Umm…..let me think…" Deadpool says

"We can think?" Deadpool's brain replies

"I've got it! We'll go over to Mitt Romney's house and punch him in the face!"

"Okay…maybe not. Seriously every republican who hears that will shove a chainsaw up our ass."

"Who cares? We didn't write this, that was One Hell of a Night!"

"That's right, I hate that asshole."

"Me too, I mean have you read, "SPAWN: OTHER"? Jesus that was worse than the Halo 2 Ending!"

"He's such a Masshole too, but sucks to be him because the redsox are really bad right now!"

"So children in the event that you meet One Hell of a Night on the street, just go up to him and kick him in the balls so hard that shit will come out of his di…"

Next Time: I kill Deadpool myself.

One Hell of an Author's Note: Hello internets! Sorry I haven't updated in 543,000,000 years; the reason being is that I have an awesome job and an awesome girlfriend! (A guy who writes Fan fiction but also has a life!? *GASP!*) Anyway please enjoy this recent addition, and please don't punch me for that Mitt (or Mit) Romney comment. I don't hate the republican party or anyone from it. Please do not troll.

K Thanx Bye.


	4. Chapter 4

DPBB: 4 By: One Hell Of A Night

Deadpool was taking in what's going on, he had stolen a weapon arsenal from a deadly hellspawn, and ruined his perfect plan to troll set hellspawn. Now this was a slight cause of alarm for him.  
However he had one last back-up plan. The panties of Pheonix would aid him in his time of need, because Spawn was right around the corner ready to attack.

Deadpool said to himself, "Almost 8 months for this!? I'm going to beat him upside the head!" His rage was enough to catch the attention off of the feaster of sins himself SPAWN! And he was furious!

"So , you have about 5 seconds to explain yourself before I decide which way I should kill you." Spawn said in a deep growly voice.

Deadpool then tried to eplain himself, "So it began like this, once upon a time there was a magic fairy who could enlarge your D%(#. Then one day, Spawn the Sad Shaft came along crying and in tears. The fairy asked him what was wrong.  
Spawn the Sad Shaft explained that his shaft was also sad and he wanted the fairy's help..."

Before Deadpool could finish the Disney film that the vault would never let out, Spawn grabbed him by the throat and threw him across the moat that he built his giant FU fortress inside of.  
But you can't keep a good maniac down, no way was Wade going to stay on the floor. So with a mighty leap into the air, Deadpool grabbed his two signature hand guns and fired away at Spawn. One problem, no matter how many bullets kept coming at Spawn he wouldn't go down either. So Spawn grabbed two gatling guns from... I guess gun space (seriously where do they come from?)  
and proceeded to fire them at the Merc with a Mouth. Deadpool was overwhelmed and went down like a sack of bricks falling down the Sears Tower. Spawn slowly approached his fallen foe and stared at him. He was lifless, beaten to a bloody pulp by his own hands Spawn was somewhat satisfied that he was finally ended.

Meanwhile, At the bridge between Life and Death.

"Baby, wake up. I need some loving." A familiar voice called out to Deadpool.  
"Wait, it's you. The one reason I want to die so badly." Deadpool said in a suprising tone of depression. "The mistress known as death."  
"Now what have I told you before? No dying unless you really are dead!" Death told off DP "You know, come to think of it I do remember that. I also remember that handjob from hell." DP said to Death

After this the two gave a quick hug to eachother as DP was pulled back to the realm of the living due to his healing factor. Since he was now "playing dead" he had just enough time to startigize.  
Spawn was about 15ft away from DP at this point, so a suprise attack was now an option. DP grabbed the ultimate fire panties from his back pocket and snuck up on Spawn, he was directly behind him.

"Hey, I've got a concern about this article of clothing you gave me." DP said as he poked Spawn's shoulder.

Spawn quickly turned around to getting blasted in the face with fire.

"They somehow emit giant-ass amounts of fire. Now I don't think that was in the agreement." Deadpool said with a giant smile on his face.  
"You know, there are two things that piss me off in the world the most. The Violator, and fire...I HATE FIRE!" Spawn yelled at DP.  
"You know what I hate? I hate things that go "You know what I hate?" That ticks me off." Deadpool replied.  
Once again Spawn grabbed Deadpool by his neck and threw him into a wall.

"Who keeps putting these walls directly where he throws me?" Deadpool says weakly "OH I KNOW!" DP's Brain replies. "It's Adam West!"  
"OF COURSE! That's right! He's Batman! It makes sense!" DP says happily

"Good God, even the violator wasn't as annoying as you." Spawn said "So...you hang out with pedofiles?" DP adds "Have you even read his comic?" One Hell of a Night asks DP "No! And get out of here! This isn't and OC fic get the F^*& out!" DP tells OHoAN "Fine, I'll just go to the end of the chapter and write my updates for the readers!" OHoAN says as he goes to the end of the chapter.  
"Joke's on him, this chapter's not over yet..." DP gets interupted by THE END

One Hell of a Corner:  
Hello everyone, it's me One Hell of a Night! Okay I know you're pissed about me not updating in a while, but things have changed slightly. I'm out a girlfriend and to be honest I'm still adjusting to life without one. But it's not to the point where I don't want to do anything anymore. Now as for DPBB, it will now be updated MONTHLY. I'm sorry but between work and school i can barley find time to write. ALSO this means the chapters will get bigger! So keep you're little heads up for the next instalment of DPBB!


	5. Chapter 5

Busting Balls 5: Too Many Balls Busted Backstory Time GO!:  
Last Time In DPBB! Deadpool had an encounter with Spawn, and the slayer of demons nearly beat DP into a bloody pulp! But our merc with a mouth got back on his feet and gave spawn a blast from the deadly fire panties! After telling One Hell of a Night to go F******** himself, Deadpool and Spawn were ready to go back at it! Also since this was nearly two months in the making (sorry!) this is going to be a grand chapter of stupidness! So lets watch our favorite sociopath duke it out with one of the most angry anti-heroes in comics!

"Hey, hey green eyes...hey...hey green eyes! You look like that guy on the Disturbed albums...hey...hey...hey..." Deadpool annoyingly taunted Spawn

Pissed off and ready to kill DP again Spawn took out a massive RPG (missle launcher for those of you who think spawn just pulled out a copy of FFVII). Deadpool's eyes widened and around his feet you could see a puddle of what appeared to be yellow...oh god he's really scared isn't he? Well Spawn's finger was on the trigger and Deadpool needed to find a quick way out. What could he possibly do!? Will this be the end of him!? OH THE HUMANITY! Poor Deadpool! OH WHAT A WORLD! WHAT A CRUEL, CRUEL , WORLD!...

While my other narrator friend was ranting Deadpool could only repsond with this, "Man this guy is just craazyy! Of course I'll survive this! I've got the power of being awesome, cunning, quick, and I also have a strange ability in which I can fart out copies of "To Kill a Mocking Bird"."

"But Spawn pulled the trigger and Deadpool was engulfed in a firey explosion of ..." "OH NO! POOR DEADPOOL! OH GOD! WHY!? WHY!? WHY!?" "DUDE GET AWAY FROM MY MIC!" "BUT HE WAS SO YOUNG!" "GET AWAY FROM THE F&(T%%$ MIC!"

While our two narrators sort this out I will be taking over as the new temporary narrator. Hello my name is One Hell of a Night, and I'll be picking up where the others left off.

Deadpool had been caught up in a giant firey explosion. His body was melting at an alarming rate, of course it would be if DP hadn't escaped using his teleportation belt. However Deadpool had teleported himself to Spawn's alleyway in New York City.

"OH BOY! It's New York City! Spiderman told us not to come here anymore but whatever his Spider-ass is Spider-grass to me. So how am I going to defeat ?" Deadpool asked himself. "Well I think you could go grab a cross and stab him with it." DP's brain suggested. "No, that would be too cliche'. However now that I think about it, the cross was technically a torture device back in the day which means that...wait...OMG! That means that people are technically wearing torture devices around their necks!" Deadpool shouted with glee. "So does this mean our cult can have a necklace with an electric chair as a symbol!?" Deadpool's brain asked. "We have a cult?" DP asked. "Yeah, it's called Deadpoolicious!" DPB adds.

"Found you..." a familiar voice called out from the shadows. "Methinks it's Spawn the Sad Shaft, and methinks he's right behind us, methinks we should run...METHINKS!" DPB yells in terror!

Well DPB methought right as Spawn pulled out a gatling gun and went beserk on DP's ass. Firing in all directions while DP swiftly dodged every bullet Spawn fired at him quite literaly like a ballroom dancer. Dancing to such hits as, "Bullet-Dodge Avenue", and the always classic, "No Time For Bullets, I've Gotta Dodge", all of these hits can be yours when you buy the soundtrack: "Sawnac Buttsecks:The Christmas Album of Deadpool's Bullet Dodging" (available wherever albums are sold).

"Are we buying that soundtrack by the way?" DPB asked while DP was still dodging. "I don't know it has the Justin Beiber & Taylor Swift cover of "Bullet,Bullet,Bullet" on it. DP answers. "My GOD! One Hell of a Night hates them!" DPB adds. "That's why we let him write about us." DP tells his brain. "I thought it was because of the 3 hookers a night deal he offered us." DPB adds. "Oh yeah, that too."

Fortunatley for DP Spawn ran out of ammo, so DP took off like a rocket! Rolling around at the speed of sound, he had places to go, he had to follow his rainbow! He couldn't stick around he had to keep moving on and...wait I feel like I might get sued for that... After long instances of running, weeping, crying, eating, sleeping, drinking, talking with BOB (An agent of Hydra), smelling, cooking, devouring, and consuming Deadpool got far away from Spawn... or so he thought. It turns out that he only ran about 19 feet away from his previous location. Whoops.

"You know OHOAN...you're an ass." DP said to mysel...hey! Come back here and say that to my face you sack of sh...

Just when you thought things couldn't get any worse the two other narrators joined in the chaos. Hello I'm the 4th narrator, my name is RebeliousShays. Even though I have no idea what Deadpool is I'll try my best to narrate. So after a huge epic fight between the 3 other narrators and Deadpool we return back to the main plot and...

END!

One Hell of a Corner:

Oww, hello everyone. It's me One Hell of a Night, I'm still recovering from my injuries given to me in that epic fight I had back there. So I hope you liked this new instalment of my mediocre series. This was a big effort considering I screwed up on spelling a bunch of times and had to re-spell some words. I guess I'm just off my game a little but it's nothing worth worrying about.

So recently, (as of last month) I recived over 400 veiws (in total of legacy veiws) for this story! WOW! I mean WOW! Thank you all so much! Last month was also my record of highest veiw count (standard). So once again thank you very much and I'll see you on my next chapter! 


	6. Chapter 6

Busting Balls Episode VI: Deadpool Gives OHoAN an Aneurism

When we last left our red-costumed merc with a mouth he was dodging bullets with the worst soundtrack ever playing in the background. He jumped over ledges, climbed many trees, and went home to watch some pay per view…..actually no that was a dream I had last night. Well regardless Deadpool's in hot water, Spawn is pissed off, and I think I need to get this arc over and done with so here we go. Here's DEADPOOL: BUSTIN' BALLS CHAPTER 6!

"A distant ship smoke on the horizon…. OH GOD BULLETS! You're only coming through in waves….JESUS! OH GOD, OH GOD! Your lips move but I can't hear what you're say… DUDE THAT WAS MY KNEE! THAT WAS MY ASSASSINATING KNEE!" Said Deadpool in agony as Spawn shot him repeatedly.

"I'm tired of this Wilson. Now just give me my damn guns back! You have no business stealing my weapons or being in my alley! Now surrender or go meet Malbogea in HELL!" Said Spawn in complete rage.

"But if I do that than how is the plot going to advance? I've got nothing. Unless this turns into a hentai fic…. Yeah I've got nothing." Deadpool remarked. "Do you think we could go back in time and tell Bea Arthur just how much we love her?" DP's Brain Asks. "YES the ultimate confession! Will Deadpool ever confess his feelings? Will the favorites count go up at all? WILL ONE HELL OF A NIGHT GROW A PAIR AND GIVE US SOME SEX SCENES!?... NO….. No he won't." Deadpool says in disappointment. "OW! GOD DAMN IT! STOP SHOOTING ME THERE! WHY DO YOU THINK IT'S A GOOD IDEA TO SHOOT THAT KNEE!?' Deadpool said after getting shot by Spawn again.

"Guns, give to me. NOW!" Spawn yelled. "You know what I have a question. If you answer it correctly I'll give you your guns back. Do we have a deal? Mr. SadShaft?" Deadpool bargained with Spawn. Spawn could only sigh, "Fine, but if you're pulling something stupid I'll shove your head up your own ass."

"GREAT! Okay let me think for a minute." Deapool said as he put his fingers on his chin. "I had no idea we could think for that long. Did you buy more RAM?" DP's Brain asked. "No but I've been meaning to." Deadpool replied. "Hurry up Wilson." Spawn said impatiently. "Alright here it is. What is the air-speed velocity of an unladen swallow?" Deadpool asked. "African or European?" Spawn asked back. "Well I don't know that." Then Deadpool was launched 30 feet into the air and landed into a river.

When Deadpool resurfaced Spawn had picked up his weapons and had gotten out of there. "You know Monty Python, your jokes are sinister." Deadpool said to himself. "Well it was a good question. Better than the other one we had." DP's brain added. "Oh yeah I remember. "Will Spongebob ever have good writing again?" Deapool asked nobody. "The answer is no." DP's brain answered.

So Deadpool walked back home; and by that I mean he stopped at a local strip club. He was quickly kicked out however due to the fact that he wanted a free lap dance and held a gun up to the bar tender's head. So Deadpool officially decided to head home for real this time. On his way he noticed a building with a giant sign that said One Hell of a Night Headquarters. He went inside and was amazed. It wasn't like any other corporate building he had ever been in before. The flowers were singing and the birds and the sun was almost down from the top of the sky. "This is amazing! Except there are no pictures of Bea Arthur or Psylocke in here." Deadpool said in slight disappointment.

"Would a Mr. Pool come to Mr. Hell of a Night's office please? One Deadpool to Mr. Hell of a Night's office please." A lady said on the intercom.

"Alrighty! Let's go bust his balls!" Deadpool said with a giant grin on his face. "You know we entered this place with absolutely no hazards or security waiting for us. This is a plot hole so big that it stands out from all the others. That says quite a bit." DP's brain says. "Don't worry bro we got this. He's only 17 for crying out loud he's about as smart as a newborn turtle." Deadpool explained. "Which kind of turtle African or European?" DP's brain asks. "Oh shut the hell up." Deadpool says in an angry tone.

When Deadpool reached the door he opened it and saw OHoAN sitting at his desk. On his left Deadpool could see Inner Moka Akashiya in a guard uniform looking at him with anger in her eyes. On his right he saw Seras Victoria with a rocket launcher in hand staring straight at the wall with her hands at her sides almost as if she was under military command. "Deadpool my friend take a seat! You bastard man you sit right down!" OHoAN said in a strange tone of happiness. Deadpool took his seat and was face to face with OHoAN himself. "Now Deadpool my buddy, my pal, my friend, you are a-ma-zing! You are big business here! Damn it man I haven't seen such a good actor ever since my days in Avenue Q! Now I have a proposition for ya'. I want you to blah blah blah, blah blah blah blah blah….." Deadpool fell asleep while OHoAN was raving.

When Deadpool had entered his dream world he was falling in a fiery pit filled with fire and evil. OH NO! But then Deadpool landed on a platform made of rock and looked around. "Methinks we're in the physical representation for the scripts of MLP and SpongeBob. It's hellish and terribly generic. Not to mention this fire is annoying." Deadpool said to himself. But before Deadpool could make more jokes about the MLP fan base he heard a familiar voice. "Alright you little bitch prepare to die…. GODDAMN IT NOT YOU AGAIN!" The low growly voice called out as a man stepped into the room. "Oh hey Freddy! What's up bro! Dude I didn't see you at the "My Face is Irregular" convention last month. I missed you!"

End of Chapter 6.

One Hell of a Corner:

THAT ARC IS FINALLY OVER! NOW I CAN WRITE ABOUT OTHER THINGS! YAY! Oh my bad, hello everyone its OHoAN here to give you an awesome update or breakdown. Okay so here's your March instalment of Bustin' Balls. Pretty cool and long right? I thought I'd fill this one up with as many good jokes and references I could possibly think of. So I hope your reference wants are finally met. Plus I got the chance to put Moka Akashiya in my story for once. Also….. I HAVE MICROSOFT WORD INTALLED! Now I will never misspell anything ever again! For those of you who were fed up with horrible grammar those issues are a thing of the past! So once again I hoped you enjoyed this chapter and I'll see you in the next instalment!


	7. Chapter 7

Busting Balls Episode 7: Final Fantasy Reference

Deadpool. Man, myth, legend, and all around sexual deviant. Our anti-hero has plunged into his deepest nightmare to confront the evil villainy of Freddy Kruger. By that I mean he fell asleep during a meeting at One Hell of a Night's office. Will he prevail? Or will this be the end of our... okay he can't die but damn it you know that sounded epic! So let's dive balls (or whatever you got) first into the deepest corners of Deadpool's mind and see what actually goes on inside this brilliant idiot's head. (Warning: Jumping into the deepest corner of Deadpool's head can result in headache (lol), stomach ache, explosively awesome diarrhea, extended periods of watching Golden Girls, and a strange addiction to pickle-flavored Pocky. Please see your local S.H.E.I.L.D community center for more details.)

"Upon reading this first sentence about 3/4's of our reader base were sent to the hospital. Dark humor is dark."

- Deadpool (Just Now)

"Now listen Freds... can I call you Freds?" DP asked the demon.  
"No." Freddy replied

"Alright Freddy the Fartypants how about yall sit back and listen up cuz' imma gonna throw down some fresh beats. Somebody give me a phat beat and punch in the time clocks and whatnot cuz we be laying the smackdown on a brudda! Yo Freddy are you ready this is what's going on, you and me are trapped here together and...OW! THAT GODDAMN KNEE!" Deadpool once again held his knee in pain. "But how da..." DP cleared his throat. "But how did you shoot my knee? Oh yeah freaky-ass dream powe... I really need to stop using the Ebonics dictionary."

"Now listen here Jackass, I brought you here because I need you to do me a favor. You owe me for that last incident." Freddy said "You mean the cantaloupes in Guatemala incident? I said I was sorry. I was really drunk at the time and..."  
"You'd just better do this, or else I'll make sure no healing factor in the world will be able to cure what I do to you!" Freddy yelled as he held DP by the collar.

Deadpool stopped for a minute to think. "So did Blackheart break up with you to or...?" Deadpool received a clawed hand to the skull. "So did anyone else hear that "GWASH" noise? Nope? Okay you'd better stamp my hand because I'm about to leave the show." Deadpool said. "Now, when you go back I want you to kill OHoAN! Understand?" Freddy gave his instructions to DP. "YAY! I get to kill someone! Alrighty see you later bestest buddy! Call my cell later!" Deadpool said as he exited the dream world.

In the real world we see Deadpool at the meeting. "Oh hey brain where were you?" Deadpool asked.  
"Oh nowhere. I had a conversation with Freddy Kruger."  
"Interesting."

"...so Deadpool will you do it?" OHoAN asked DP "You bet your sweet ass Mr. Night. After all we're one in the same... Deranged!" DP replied "Love it! Love that humor of yours man! We should talk again some time, maybe over coffee and a little Pink Floyd music alright? Now get oudda here I got important business to take care of." OHoAN showed Deadpool to the door after he shook his hand. "Now ladies..." OHoAN said as the door closed behind him. "Alright let's go and do what One Hell of a Night told us to... wait what?" Deadpool asked.  
End of Chapter 7!

One Hell of a Corner:  
Hello all this is OHoAN. I hope all of you liked this long awaited sequel. Now my excuse for not updating? FREAKING WORD DEMO! After the demo was over I couldn't access the original draft of this story and decided to write another. Not to mention my real life stuff like school and work. So here you go! Have fun reading and see you soon on DPBB! 


	8. Chapter 8

Bustin' Balls 8: An Iced Coffee With Cream and Three Equal...Make That Caramel

We here at OHoAN studios would like to apologize for this late update. So please enjoy this sexy scene featuring anime Lady Deadpool and Harley Quinn...wait what's that? Okay so my assistant Craig here says that we can't do anything sexy here. So how about an adventure starring the merc with a mouth?

"Okay, so much s**** just went down while we were gone. E3...and E3..." DP said.

"Yeah... so did anyone else here think that Microsoft just got it's own ass handed to it by Sony and Nintendo?" Brain remarked.

"Luckily I was able to get a free version of the PS4 on the pirate bay!" DP said with a snicker. "I like to imagine that when Sony realized that they wanted to make a better console they decided to hit pandas with it. To make it even more badass and daring!" Brain delightfully added in.

We here at OHoAN studios also known as JKJC Science Inc. do not promote nor like violence towards animals. However, we do find some and only some imaginary versions hilarious. There's your TFS/DBZ abridged reference... can I go home now?

"Now what do we do? It's been almost 2 months without an update. And OHoAN's hookers have stopped coming. I fear for the worst! Alright if OHoAN dies I give full permission for Crispywafflez to take the story over." DP said.

Deadpool was walking down a long sidewalk and had no idea where he was going. He was just going wherever the wind took him. He was his own boss and he did what he wanted. So what would a great adventurer do in this situation...?

"Time to go hit it up at a cosplay cafe!" DP answered the narrator.

So then Deadpool entered...oh god why? Neko Neko Super Kawaii Desu Desu Yuri Hentai Sushi Tokyo: The Cosplay Cafe. How much more painfully polictically incorrect can you get? He sat down at a window seat fit for two people and waited for his waitress to arrive. Deadpool casually looked around the establishment and began to play a mobile version of the game DooM. Then his waitress came dressed in a CiCi cosplay that was so detailed all the way down to her green hair and eye color. (If you don't know who this charecter is you're either not a casual fan of/do not care for anime or you're too young to be reading this fic... seriously I will find you!)

"Kon'nichiwa! How can I help you tonight?" The waitress asked DP.

"Alright let's see. Get me a full bottle of sake, 3 beers, and your finest bowl of chicken ramen please sweetheart." Deadpool said with such grace it would make any woman...puke.

"Of course. It will been done in a couple minutes. In the mean time I'll get the other waitresses to make you feel more comfortable." The waitress said as she left.

Meanwhile in the kitchen the waitress came in with a look of mild disgust on her face. She then entered the office of her boss.

"Please don't tell me I have to deal with him again tonight! The last time he did this we were cleaning up ashes from the drunken sake bomb rampage for months." The girl complained.

"Look Sarah, if you do this for me I swear I will make you my princess. After all, you want to make me happy right?" The mesterious man's eyes began to swirl as he looked at Sarah. Sarah responded in an equal tone, "Yes master..." "No Sarah, what did I have you call me?" The man asked. "OHoAN." Sarah responded.

DUN DUN DUUUUUUUUUUUUUNNNNN!

Deadpool remained in his seat for several more minutes while this was going on.

"You know that feeling that you get when a hot girl walks by then all of a sudden as soon as you grab that tight ass she tears off your kiwis." DP asked his brain. "Please don't grab any asses anytime soon." Brain responded. "Okay, this is coming from the guy that has the ability to grant me mind porn!" DP yelled. Everyone else in the cafe (all of it being 14 people excluding DP) immedietly stared at him. Eyes twiching and mouths open wide.

"Do not worry my adoring fanboys, I am merely saying what we are all thinking! And by that I mean free cable!" DP hid below the table in all out fear.

Next Time: BB9: The Ass Grab Knight Rises

OHoACorner :

Hello this be OHoAN. Sorry for not posting a chapter in a while. This was mostly due to the increase of fans of my other fic: The Deadpooling of Tsukune Aono. I know I have a lot of devoted fans out there, so I thought now would be the best time to get a new chapter out to you guys. Plus...Cosplay GIRLS! Sorry to the fangirls, but don't worry the fic OHoAN will get what's coming to him. Please enjoy this chapter!

3~ OHoAN


	9. Chapter 9

Bustin' Balls 9: The Iron Man Chapter

No...no I won't. I refuse to explain what happened last time! No! F*** you! I will break America's laziness! Go and read the last 8 chapters! ...BRITANIA RULES THE WAVES!

(Note: OHoAN is American)

"This is the best distraction ever! I am now a ghost hiding under a table!" DP said

"Hey look up above us! There are multicolored stars!" Brain said

"Eww! A bit of common decency please! As much as I like to lick things from other people's mouthes I can't stand the sight of chewed gum under a table. WOOD RUINS THE EXPERIENCE!"

"That's what she didn't say."

Everything was calm above table level as the guests were enjoying their food given to them given by their hot, cosplaying waitresses. It seemed like tonight would be another boring night of food and boners...no. Then there was a loud noise that sounded like thrusters on a jet. The noise came closer and closer and the establishment was rumbling slightly. But instead of chaos ensuing and everybody running around in panic, everyone just kept calm and kept eating or looking at the asses of the waitresses. This wasn't new in...whatever city they're in because they knew who was making the noise. It was no one other than the ledgendary...

"Iron Man is here ladies." Tony Stark said as he came through the entrance wearing his trademark red and gold suit (or is it copper...or IRON!?). He then proceeded to lift up his helmet and expose his face. "So, which one of you wants to get me a glass of TS~76?" (Only $700,000,000 on Amazon).

Every waitress in that room was blushing like they had just been sprayed with red paint. Tony was a regular at this cafe and came in looking as clean and fancy as the last time he entered. Yes everyone this man is the man every guy wants to be...~zzzzzzz~...

"Hey...is metal-ass here?"

"Well judging by the amount of minds I'm reading that say "I want to have his baby" and "I wouldn't mind being in that suit with him"...yeah I think that's him."

"Oh great, now everyone's gonna get pregnant."

One of the waitresses then guided Stark over to a table. However this waitress thought that Deadpool had already left and didn't know he was under the table. Now it's time to play:

WHEEL OF OUTCOMES!

Alright boys and girls since there is a lack of a wheel today you're going to have to guess what is going to happen when Stark sits down! Alrighty here we go! Is it:

1: Deadpool gets the suit!

2: Blowjo...actually no

3: Friendship between DP and IM

or

4: DP gets crushed?

Let's go to the plot right now to find out!

"Oh wait I almost forgot about the suit. That would've been bad." Tony said to himself.

He wasn't wearing his regular suit though (trollolololololololollol) he was wearing his EXTREMUS suit which bonded with his body so that he could acess it whenever he needed it. Which means he can also store the suit whenever he doesn't. So Tony stored the suit back into his body and sat down.

"Oh damnit I think his foot's in our ass!" Brain pointed out.

"Yeah I noticed thank you! Don't give the fangirls any ideas you prick!" DP yelled softly at Brain.

"Hmmm...this table leg is a little to close." Tony remarked.

"F*** everything." Deadpool said to himself.

Tony then started to kick what he thought was the table leg. Thus our Merc with a Mouth was kicked around like a kid playing with a pogo stick that has a built in leg on the front that kicks you every time you jump. I had one of those as a kid and that's probably why I'm so messed up in the head.

"Okay I've had enough!" Deadpool managed to crawl out from under the table.

"Wilson!? What are you doing here?" Tony's suit began to form around him.

"Woah! Hey! Tony! Whassup? Hey I love that outfit you're wearing! Hey is that a new shade of death copper or what?" Deadpool tried to distract Iron Man but it wasn't enough. Iron Man charged up his arm...beams...(I dunno) and began to fire at Deadpool.

"You know there's a saying that I'm thinking of right now. Now listen, when life gives you lemons DON'T MAKE LEMONADE! I DON'T WANT YOUR DAMN LEMONS!" Deadpool was then blasted as the 2nd lemons came out of his mouth.

"O...kay...Iron...Fan...there will be...donuts downstairs...after mass. So..please...feel free...to...pick up...one." Deadpool fell onto the ground unconcious.

To Be Continued.

One Hell of a Corner:

Hello! This is chapter nine! YAY! Oh dear lord this is the best! I feel so great when writing these stories!

Now next up is Chapter 10. A milestone indeed! I just hope I'll be able to provide enough awesomeness for the next chapter. So please review and give me some suggestions! I love hearing from you guys and I hope I can get some great ideas! SO SEE YOU ALL NEXT TIME!

Love: OHoAN!


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